Carnac: "What Is Manning Face?"

Finding the perfect example of Manning Face requires the same conditions as stalking wild prey: patience, no sudden moves, lightning reflexes...

I can do anything I want, and so can you

Chez, Miami-raised New Yorker, notes on Deus Ex Malcontent:

Quite possibly the biggest lie that America has ever been willing to swallow whole is the seemingly benign assertion that anyone is capable of anything...that there isn't a force in the universe powerful enough to stop you from making your most outlandish desires come true.

Except that there is; it’s of course called reality.

If you watch American Idol — and judging by the ratings, you’d rather have elective eye surgery than miss it — you know that reality occasionally goes by a more specific name: Simon.

...At the core of ridiculous efforts like these is one common misconception: that because America was founded on the principle that all are created equal, all actually turn out equal.

Brandon Bird (via Joe)

Our last best hope.
"Because, really, TV on the whole has become a whole lot better since it became a kind of semi-retirement home for really interesting actors who don't really give a shit anymore."

No one wants to play Sega with Harrison Ford.


Two warriors came out of the sky.

What's the deal with Corn Nuts?

Girls and cars

Still fierce.

In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

The final leg of their intergalactic tour

I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

Tara Conner is a unicorn

Sending a horny 21 year old model to rehab for sex and drugs is like cutting off a unicorn’s horn and stabbing him in the eye with it.

superhero/supervillain

I posted this on geektastik before I had this blog, but it's really more appropriate here.

I used to wear my Wonder Woman PJs EVERYWHERE. [Sigh] I miss them.

You are Spider-man

Spider-Man 75% Wonder Woman 73% Supergirl 68% Green Lantern 65% The Flash 60% Iron Man 55% Hulk 55% Robin 45% Superman 45% Catwoman 40% Batman 40%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

You are Dr. Doom

Dr. Doom 68% Poison Ivy 68% Lex Luthor 66% Apocalypse 61% Dark Phoenix 59% Green Goblin 57% Mystique 57% The Joker 56% Venom 55% Magneto 54% Catwoman 54% Riddler 52% Kingpin 51% Mr. Freeze 44% Juggernaut 41% Two-Face 41%

Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

Me as an M&M

Uncanny, right? Smirk and everything...I'm even wearing my red Vans (sadly lost now, but once my favorite).

Baby and Cat!

History of Rock

Puts Jack Black's version to shame.

The Cuban Computer

Smart people talking about stupid things

I've already posted some of my favorite individual posts from Kissing Suzy Kolber and Fametracker, but I wanted to share two more sites along those lines: Pajiba and Television Without Pity.

Pajiba describes itself at "Scathing Reviews for Bitchy People." It used to be all movies, with an occasional TV column, but though it's still film-oriented, now it includes a couple celeb-blog links, and occasional current affairs column, etc. Television Without Pity (TWoP), is all television recaps, all the time, and also has excellent, well-organized forums (read: trolls are an endangered species).

All these sites are written by smartypantses with just enough motivation to rant on completely irrelevent topics. While bloggers like Perez Hilton (no, I will not give that pathetic trollop a link) make me want to set a junior high school on fire (thanks, Fitzy!), KSK, TWoP, et al are like the great friends who gossiped with you, and you didn't feel guilty because you knew you could theoretically talk with them about John Updikes latest novel, but that would be boring. It's guilty pleasure without any of that pesky guilt!

I don't think it's any coincidence that the TWoP and Fametracker site designs are by Glark, and that both feature contributions from Sars and Wing Chun. They are friends with Pamie, whom I also recommend, in addition to these sites:

• McSweeney's - articles in a sort of New Yorker parody
  
• Neatorama and Boing Boing - random (but well edited) assortment of great Internet finds
  
• Lifehacker - a Gawker Media blog with lots of tips, hacks, downloads, etc. to make your life easier
  
• Salon, Radar, and Slate - with varying levels of satire, online magazines covering a variety of current affairs, arts/entertainment, and feature stories
  
• Stereogum - music (and associated news and commentary) that doesn't suck
  
• Snarkmarket and Damn Hell Ass Kings - like Salon, Radar, and Slate, but more bloggy, less magazine-y
  
• Signal vs. Noise - a design and usability blog by 37signals
  
• 50 books - "One Woman. One Year. Countless Distractions."
  
• Go Fug Yourself - hilarious celebrity fashion site, "because fugly is the new pretty"
  
• Who In the What Now? - a daily word association blog
  

Favorite Fametracker posts

Fametracker, "The farmer's almanac of celebrity worth," made their bones on Fame Audits, in which certain stars were determined to have more than, less than, or just as much fame as they deserved. But it's their spin-off features that I love most. Here are some favorites:

Two Stars, One Slot: in which redundant actors battle it out, Highlander-style

• Battle of the Sensitive/Psychotic Blonds - Ryan Gosling vs. Nick Stahl
• Battle of the Charming Smarmsters - Zachary Levi vs. Ryan Reynolds
• Battle Of The Righteous, Honey-Voiced Inspirations - Samuel L. Jackson vs. Laurence Fishburne
• Battle of the Blowsy, WASPy, Possibly Drunk Moms - Blythe Danner vs. Sally Field
• Battle of the Chameleonic Hipster Goofs - Sam Rockwell vs. Justin Theroux

Celebrity vs. Thing: because TSOS was becoming too easy

• Catherine Zeta-Jones vs. Bagels
• Chris Rock Vs. Not-Socks

Blue Moons: sometimes-recurring features

• When Stars Split: Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey
• When Stars Split: Cameron Diaz & Justin Timberlake
  

Looking back (some of these are from 2004!), I can't believe how often they were on the freaking money. WC, you have some serious mojo.

Favorite Kissing Suzy Kolber posts

Kissing Suzy Kolber is my favorite sports blog. Deadspin is more informative, but there are enough Factonistas clogging up the internets. KSK is all about bitter, overly literate sports fans who masochistically enjoy themselves more when their teams are struggling. Yay!

F--k It. I'm Throwing It Downfield
I Wish Everyone Had Listened When I Said My Favorite Sport Was Squash
Hi! I'm Peyton Manning, And You Can Go F--k Yourself
KSK Stereotype Theater

Wee ninja protects sleeping babies. When archenemies sneak into the nursery at night, he springs into action. Don't be suckered in by the plush...he will cut you, Tooth Fairy.

Facts:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.